I’m headed off to the Badlands today, but before I left I had to tell Thomas he wasn’t going. No, I know I really didn’t have to tell him, but I did anyway.

Actual conversation with the dog:

Me: Listen, I know you have no idea what I”m saying, but you can’t go on the trip. And I feel really guilty about it. You’re mad, aren’t you?

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If it were a backpacking trip, we would totally take you. But it’s a photography trip, and you know how that goes. You’re always bumping the tripod or photobombing my pictures, and all my photographs end up looking like this:

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You know it’s true. And this time there will be bison, and I don’t want to have a repeat of that unfortunate incident with the bear in West Virginia. That sort of thing wouldn’t go nearly so well for you with a bison.

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I can’t believe I feel bad about this. Jon Katz says that separation anxiety isn’t really even a thing. Well, it’s a thing, it’s just more often a human thing. See? I’m proving his point exactly. You won’t even actually know we are gone or that we left you, will you? This is just a racket thought up by people to work my guilt and get me to spend exorbitant sums of money on your accomodations, isn’t it?

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That’s what I thought. So you’re going to Chris the pet sitter’s house. You like Chris, and he walks you three miles every day, way more than I do. I have your attention now, don’t I?

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Just promise that you won’t start to like Chris better than me, okay? Hey, Jon was right. Turns out that it’s me who has the separation anxiety.

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One thought on “Conversations with the dog

  1. Love this! You brought a huge smile to my face! Those photos have the perfect expressions for what you wrote. Thank you for sharing, and have fun in the Badlands!

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